Sunday, December 10, 2017

Introductory Post

A Walk Through My Anxiety Disorder

Venue: The Hole, New York City
Ran by Armando Guillen

A Dark abstract look at the struggles Anxiety has to offer.
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Exhibition Introduction

A Walk Through My Anxiety Disorder
Artists Featured(First-Last)
  • Katarina Thorsen
  • David Ford
  • Saša Auguštanec
  • Casey Gallagher
  • Shawn Coss
  • Edvard Munch
  • John Ruess
  • Marla Edwards
  • Joseph Loughborough
  • Rivka Korf
Exhibition Statement:
Hello, My name is Armando Guillen and welcome to "A Walk Through My Anxiety Disorder". When I was 18 years old I was diagnosed with a anxiety disorder, and during that time I went through one of most difficult times in my life. During this point of my life I would experience on average a dozen anxiety attacks a month and deal with the accompanying symptoms that no amount of research can prepare your for. Shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, dizziness, depression, constant worrying, social anxiety, were just some of things I experienced for the first time in my life. I put together these collection of artists to try and show you what I felt and went through, with every artist specifically chosen to express the specific experiences and struggles that come with having an anxiety disorder. My goal is to bring awareness to the very real struggles anxiety can bring to someones life and to let any reader that has had any of these experiences, you are not alone. I hope you enjoy!
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The Start of it All

        Biography: Katarina Thorsen, BSc (1984, University of British Columbia) for the past 25 years Katarina has specialized in "frontline experience with special needs populations, facilitating artistic expression in one-on-one and group settings".(https://katthorsen.com/about/testimonials/)
        Artist Statement: "Katarina (Kat) Thorsen, is an artist, a creative engagement facilitator and a craftivist passionate in her belief that art can heal and build connections. Kat specializes in arts-based programming for all ages, in particular engaging vulnerable populations. The heart of her work is visual storytelling, whole brain engagement and facilitation. Her interactive art events and street art encourages participants to become part of the creative process. Kat’s own artwork can be found in private collections in North America and Europe."(https://katthorsen.com/about/)
        Techniques: Emphasis on lines that lead to the Main Focal Point-The Heart, Ordered Chas of Writing

The Heart, there are multiple reasons I decided on this work of art. First, I used this exercise during the peak of my anxiety disorder in order to find some sort of relief. It definitely helped as an outlet for me to express what I was feeling and was effective in that sense. Second, having Heart palpitations was the first sign of my anxiety disorder manifesting. For those of you who don't know, palpitations is a form of irregular heartbeat and can mean bad news for heart health, this can also be cause by anxiety which I of course would find out was the main cause for this to occur. This marked the beginning of me having a anxiety disorder for the rest of my life.
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Pins and Needles

        Biography: " A self-taught artist, David Ford has pursued on-site cultural studies in places like Morocco, Guatemala, Cuba, and Turkey. His experimental process continues to layer and explore. A push-pull in his work has remained a constant for twenty-five years. While probing the limits of taste and decorum, he has received awards from the Charlotte Street Foundation, the Tanne Foundation, Art Omi, and Creative Capital."(http://davidfordart.com/bio-2)
        Artist Statement: "The acute anxiety I was diagnosed with. This painting was a momentary lapse of anxiety. I had a sheet already waiting, as well as my paints. My creativity was blocked by nerves, so I let them manifest and began to attack the paper with colors. Very soon it took form."(https://www.etsy.com/listing/399654959/nerves-33-x-2318-acrylic-paper-painting)
        Techniques: Abstract Design, Emphasis on Disunity-Ordered Chaos to form shape in middle

There is this feeling I get when a I am about to have an anxiety attack that feels like little pins and needles running all over my face and body. Think of the feeling you get when your leg falls asleep, but twice as strong and runs all over your body. That numbing feeling has to be one of the most annoying sensations I have ever felt and I found it very difficult to put into a visual example. David Ford came about as close as I could find as to what this would feel like and happens to be one my personal favorite works.

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Depression




        Biography: Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, University of Zagreb

Croatia with a Master Degree in Art History, Criticism and Conservation.(https://www.linkedin.com/in/sa%C5%A1a-augu%C5%A1tanec-a98b3bb7/)
        Artist Statement: "How an individual feels when affected by anxiety-depressive disorder? It feels like the world is going to swallow you and you need to defend against it."(https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Painting-Anxiety-Depression/851572/2813398/view)
        Techniques: Color and Value- Used to draw to too focal points, the figure and the window. Contrast-to show the lonely dark room and the single window.

 Depression is a very weird thing to feel, being sad and upset all the time can really have a negative effect on your life. when I was dealing with the worst of my anxiety disorder I fell in to a deep depression, I stayed in my room all day, didn't talk to anyone, and just felt bad for myself  from morning to night. This artist shows how you can have everything in the world and you can still feel like your in a dark room by yourself.
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The Task of Breathing


         Biography: "Casey Gallagher is an artist and art educator. After earning a Bachelor's Degree in Anthropology and spending years in the corporate world, she has returned to her passion for the arts and completed a Masters Degree in Art & Art Education at Teachers College, Columbia University. She is currently teaching elementary art in Pelham, New York."(http://www.casey-gallagher.com/bio/)
     Artist Statement: "I believe art is a crucial element when fully addressing modern human culture. Most ideas cannot be expressed with only words or actions; rather they require color, space, and tangible materials. I use these tools and materials to explore the tension that exists between the emotional and mechanical aspects of the human experience. I aim to peel back the layers of an event in order to expose a singular moment. Through the use of unexpected color and subject matter, I hope to uncover the dichotomy of one’s inner anxieties and mindfulness, while also exploring the social and environmental relationships among humans and nature. It is in this vein that I hope to create artworks which exhibit new depths of emotional expression and push the boundaries of what I find comfortable."(http://www.casey-gallagher.com/bio/)
        Techniques: Emphasis on Unity of the colors to show the drowning figure, Ordered Chaos of colors to make the drowning man the main focal point

There is one symptom from my anxiety above all the others that happens the most, shortness of breath when anxious. The feeling of not being able to get a satisfying breath not matter how hard you try is the equivalent of drowning and it is the most helpless feeling in the world. There are days that I wake up and I wont get one full breath all day, I believe that is why this painting connected to me because this feeling is something I experience every other week.
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Always Happy


  • Artist: Shawn Coss
  • Title: I can always make you smile
  • Media: Black Pen Ink
  • Dimensions:N/A
  • Date:October 2016
  • Source: http://www.shawncossart.com/
         Biography: "I'm an Ohio based artist who loves to sling ink and paint at paper until it forms some time of creature. It's very therapeutic. I also work for the ever popular webcomic and cartoon show, Cyanide and Happiness."(http://www.shawncossart.com/)
         Artist Statement:"Last year I took part in the annual inktober series and decided to tackle mental health as my 31 designs. I researched and studied each illness as I created them and was blown away by all of the reaction and support for my art depictions. Featured across Buzzfeed, Huffington post, and across the US and world."(http://www.shawncossart.com/)
         Techniques: Subverting The Canon of Proportions-elongated neck, arms, mouth etc., One main focal point-Large Smile

 There is a saying that normally the people who look the happiest, that makes everyone laugh are usually the ones in most pain. I have always been known as a happy outgoing person, when I got my anxiety disorder I would often lie about how I was feeling and put on a happy front. Even now you would never know I have any type of disorder due to fear of being judged or treated differently. There are people in this world that only show you that "happy" smile, the stigma behind anxiety and depression has caused people suffering to bottle their emotions up until they finally have a breakdown and that is such a sad thing to see and experience.
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The Fear of being alone

         Biography: "Edvard Munch was born in Norway in 1863 and, with the notable exception of the two decades from 1889 to 1909 spent traveling, studying, working and exhibiting in France and Germany, he lived there until his death in 1944. He was active as a painter from the 1880s until shortly before his death, though the greater part of his oeuvre, and certainly the better known part, was produced before the early 1920s"(https://www.edvardmunch.org/biography.jsp)
          Artist Statement:"Over and over again in his pictures of the middle 1890s Munch used variations of the same images - the column of light on the sea, the blonde giri on the beach, the lustful woman in red, the older woman in black, the unhappy man, etc - juggling them in various combinations to symbolize different human conditions and relations. Here he illustrates the man's sorrow at parting from his love"(https://www.edvardmunch.org/separation.jsp)
            Techniques: Multiple Focal Points on the man and women, Specific emphasis on position of the mans hand.

After I began to have panic attacks regularly, I would have this irrational fear that my anxiety would hit and I would have no one around to help calm me down, specifically my mother who has been my support system during these times. I would get really anxious and uncomfortable anytime I was alone that I would often go to places I didn't really have any interest going just so that someone was around. This painting immediately reminded me of that horrible feeling I would often get.

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The Emptiness


         Biography: "Born 1973 in Germany, now living and working in Denmark. Being a self taught artist, John Reuss comes from a professional background in graphic layout & design, marketing and communication."(https://www.facebook.com/pg/johnreuss/about/)
        Artists Statement : "My Work Is Characterized By Contrasts - The Juxtaposition Of Opposites On Several Levels - Which Is Recognized Throughout My Paintings. Fine Detail, Drawn Lines And Meticulously Painted Shapes Clash With Bold Brushstrokes, Spatters And Blurred Contours. Soft Organic Shapes And Multifaceted Figures Meet Hard, Calculated Geometric Abstractions."(http://www.johnreuss.com/artist-statement/)
         Techniques: Focal points on the mouth and heads/ Value and contrast from Mouth to Head to show emphasis on mouth

When suffering from an anxiety disorder, your head can feel like its in the clouds, or like this picture  shows, completely filled with darkness. There is something very frustrating about not being able to concentrate on something you want give your full attention to. Where your mind is in a state of confusion all day it can take a tole on someone, so much that it makes me want to scream sometimes. This painting expresses exactly what that feels like.



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Social Anxiety

      Bio: Artist who joined Fine Art America in 2014
      Artists Statement: "This piece is about how people with social anxiety can perceive others in a crowded or public place. They feel trapped, surrounded, and paranoid that everyone is watching and judging them."(https://fineartamerica.com/featured/social-anxiety-marla-edwards.html)
       Techniques: Main Vocal Point of the man in the chair, large Contrast in color to put even more focus on the Vocal point, and some Ordered Chaos.

One of the first times I experienced social anxiety after I was diagnosed was at a restaurant.  It was something I had never felt before, like every eye in the room was on me and judging me, I was so uncomfortable. I could hardly breath, like i was drowning, and I was unable to sit through dinner, one of the worst times for me because I had to leave my family there while I tried to get it together. This feeling is something you can not explain until you experience it yourself, which is something I would not wish on anyone.
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The Many Faces of Anxiety

      Bio: "Joseph Loughborough (b. 1981) spent his formative years exploring the derelict boatyards and creeks of Portsmouth, on the south coast of the UK. After graduating from Portsmouth University he pursued interests in art, philosophy and skateboarding culture, living in London, Paris and currently Berlin."(http://www.josephloughborough.co.uk/bio/)
      Artists Statement: "Honesty, expressionism and catharsis can be read from Loughborough’s impulsive and intuitive mark making, which strive to grasp a comprehension of the human condition.
Drawing inspiration from various themes concerned with Camus/Kierkegaard's notion of ‘Absurdity’, each drawing becomes a decadent theatre of emotion, sexuality and movement. Lonely human forms seem to struggle and ponder the sporadically lit space they occupy without reaching the point of a dramatic emotional encounter. Couples and groups of people cling together searching for an antidote to the revelations of their existence.Personifications of latent hopes and emotions wait in vain to be realized. No specific conclusions can be made to the meaning of the individual works aside from the acknowledgement and indulgence of image, expression and technique. This reflects absurdity’s philosophical model of observing our potentially meaningless existence without the sterilization of Nihilism. The irony of religious motifs act to enhance the awkward balance between secularism and piousness that the characters depicted seem to grapple with (http://www.josephloughborough.co.uk/bio/)
        Techniques: Multiple Focal Points on the different faces, Unity in the amount in faces in each row but with Variety in each face being different.

This painting shows me the different faces of anxiety, every person fighting their own battle. There is no set way a person looks when they have some sort of an anxiety disorder. Many go through their normal lives and you would not know the difference. This causes people who never experienced anxiety to often criticize the validity of a person claiming to suffer from anxiety, which is usually accompanied with the over used comment of "its all in your head". Because your right it is and thats the problem.

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The Heart and Mind


     Bio: "Rivka Korf is a self-taught Graphic Designer and Illustrator. She paints in her free time while her two-year old baby is sleeping. Rivka’s art consists of expressionist and surrealistic paintings that express strong emotions."(https://www.saatchiart.com/artbyrivkakorf)
     Artists Statement: "A cacophony of shrieking voices piercing the dark night, emitted from faces contorted with fear, a jumble of pain and anguish, despair and anger. The faces are rooted in a contorted and tortured heart. The gloomy background suggests darkness, while the blue hues of the faces imply indifference."(https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Painting-Screaming-Hydra-Anxiety/995997/3647352/view)
       Techniques: Repetition of Faces(Main focal point),  Subverting the Canon of Porportions(Elongated neck, heart), Abstract

I chose this painting by Rivka Korf as my final post because this to me symbolizes the big picture of the power anxiety disorders hold. The heart connecting to the repetition of screaming faces shows that what ever the mind feels the heart will follow suit, meaning whatever the mind believes the body will react accordingly, whether its fear, worrying, panic attacks, etc. A person with an anxiety disorder had a daily battle they have to face every time they wake up. Hopefully this different works of art will give you an understanding of the very real issues we face everyday.

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The Conclusion:

        This process of creating my own art exhibit was very interesting for me, never being an art person before, finding out that many artists have gone through what I have was eye opening experience. Choosing from the right artists that would support my theme of anxiety and mental issues was a real treat because I found many artists use painting as an outlet to cope with their mental issues or anxieties. What came naturally was finding the works of art that really expressed how I felt while dealing with my anxiety disorder, what did not come easy was finding the dimensions and info needed for all the paintings. This caused me to get rid of some great paintings due to lack of info provided by the artists, but as I learned thats what comes with the process of putting a virtual art exhibit. I gained a lot of respect for the job of a curator, I had a tough time choosing from the sheer amount of artists on todays world and deciding who would fit the theme that I envisioned. I can only imagine how tough it must be to create a real exhibit and the pressure these people face when deciding who they want. Thousands of people in the world deal with anxiety in their life, when I was diagnosed with a anxiety disorder I felt like I was drowning and I was alone. Reading about the different experiences of these artists and how similar our reactions were was almost a relief, a relief knowing I am not alone and that there are ways to cope, and live a better quality of life which was the most important thing I gained from this. Thank you!
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